"I liked him better with the long hair, bro. Reminded me of Bertier's momma." — Remember the Titans
"Yo momma's so fat, that when she farts Al Gore accuses her of global warming." — Meet the Spartans
"Your mom goes to college." — Napoleon Dynamite
"Your momma's so fat, she fell over, broke her leg, and gravy poured out." — White Men Can't Jump
"Your momma's so fat, she heard it was chilly out and ran inside to get a bowl." — Everything Must Go
"Your momma's so fat, she's got every caterer on speed dial." — Malibu's Most Wanted
"Your momma's so old, she used to drive chariots to high school." — White Men Can't Jump
"Your mother is so stupid, she exercises when she could just like, get liposuction or something." — White Chicks
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." — Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Yo momma is so big, her belt size is "equator."
Yo momma is so chatty, when she signed into Skype it said "Error: Too Much Information."
Yo momma is so classless, she's a Marxist utopia.
Yo momma is so clumsy, she makes Humpty Dumpty look like a gymnast.
Yo momma is so confusing, even Scooby Doo couldn't solve that mystery.
Yo momma is so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they've got writer's block.
Yo momma is so dirty, she makes mud look clean.
Yo momma is so dumb, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo momma is so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo momma is so dumb, she failed a survey.
Yo momma is so dumb, she makes up more words than Donald Trump.
Yo momma is so dumb, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted sweet dreams.
Yo momma is so dumb, she sold her car to get gasoline money.
Yo momma is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo momma is so dumb, she thought KFC was UFC for chickens.
Yo momma is so dumb, she thought Twitter was social media for birds.
Yo momma is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Yo momma is so fat, her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator.
Yo momma is so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
Yo momma is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
Yo momma is so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
Yo momma is so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
Yo momma is so fat, not even Dora can explore her.
Yo momma is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo momma is so fat, she gets group insurance.
Yo momma is so fat, she has two watches one for each time zone she's in.
Yo momma is so fat, she left in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
Yo momma is so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.
Yo momma is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo momma is so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo momma.
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo momma is so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo momma is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.
Yo momma is so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo momma is so fat, when she talks to herself, it's a long-distance call.
Yo momma is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Yo momma is so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo momma is so fat, when she went to KFC and the cashier asked what size bucket she wanted, she said, "The one on the roof!"
Yo momma is so hairy, people think she's an Ewok.
Yo momma is so lazy, she has a stay-at-home job and still is late to work.
Yo momma is so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.
Yo momma is so lazy, she woke up from a coma and went to sleep.
Yo momma is so mean that Taylor Swift wrote a song about her.
Yo momma is so mean, even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Yo momma is so mean, they don't give her happy meals at McDonald's.
Yo momma is so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
Yo momma is so nice, she'd give me the hair off her back.
Yo momma is so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo momma is so old, her Social Security number is one.
Yo momma is so old, she has an autographed bible.
Yo momma is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo momma is so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo momma is so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Yo momma is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma is so old, the back of her head looks like a raisin.
Yo momma is so old, when she was a child rainbows were still in black and white.
Yo momma is so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was still just getting sick.
Yo momma is so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma is so paranoid, they call her the alarm belle.
Yo momma is so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.
Yo momma is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo momma is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Yo momma is so poor, she created a Gmail account just so she can eat the spam.
Yo momma is so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo momma is so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma is so scary, even Voldemort won't say her name.
Yo momma is so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma is so short, she has to slam dunk her bus fare.
Yo momma is so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
Yo momma is so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.
Yo momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio.
Yo momma is so skinny, that when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again.
Yo momma is so smart, she learned to rollover and beg in one day.
Yo momma is so strict, she enforced a curfew for the entire neighborhood.
Yo momma is so strong, she can gargle peanut butter.
Yo momma is so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo momma is so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo momma is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo momma is so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
Yo momma is so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Yo momma is so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo momma is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo momma is so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said: "Concentrate."
Yo momma is so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo momma is so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk and Don't Walk."
Yo momma is so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.
Yo momma is so stupid, she tripped over a wireless network.
Yo momma is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Yo momma is so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
Yo momma is so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
Yo momma is so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Yo momma is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo momma is so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo momma is so tall, she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
Yo momma is so ugly that most Snapchat filters make her better looking.
Yo momma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo momma is so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
Yo momma is so ugly, I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma is so ugly, I told her to take out the trash and she left the house.
Yo momma is so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo momma is so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo momma is so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo momma is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked back out with a job application.
Yo momma is so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo momma is so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo momma is so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror Bloody Mary goes away.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma is so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo momma is so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
Yo momma is so ugly, when your dad drops her off for work, he gets a fine for littering.
Yo momma is so weird, she picks her nose just to be gross.
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo momma's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Yo momma's butt is so big, she has to use a reservoir for a toilet.
Yo momma's cooking is so nasty, the house flies got together to fix the hole in the window screen.
Yo momma's forehead is so big, you could show slides on it.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map, she can see people waving.
Yo momma's head is so big, she has to step into her shirts.
Yo momma's house is so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Yo momma's house is so small, when she drops a Kleenex she has wall-to-wall carpeting.
Yo momma's lips are so big, when she smiles she gets Chapstick on her ears.
Yo momma's neck is so wrinkled, she can grate cheese on it.
Yo momma's nose is so big, she makes Pinochio look like a cat.
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.